MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Archive for the tag “healthy-living”

Holiday Pressures.

It’s holiday time!!!!! You know what that means stress, pressure, and uncertainty lol. The holidays can be a confusing time for people dating. To exchange gifts; not to exchange gifts. Meet the family; don’t meet the family. Spend New Year’s together; spend it apart with friends. Ohhh the dilemmas!! Choices!! What to do?

One of my friends is a bit stressed about meeting mom. She has been seeing this man for a few months now; but they aren’t in a committed relationship yet. She seems to like him, but may be having jitters. When you’ve been single for a while jitters are normal. Anyway… so mom is visiting for Thanksgiving. Nerve wracking right? This could be the determining factor of if she and the guy stay together or not. That’s a lot of pressure. I’m sure it will be fine though; she’s good people 🙂

What about family dinner? Should you invite the person you’ve been dating to dinner? Will that person be overwhelmed? With my parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews there are 12 of us!! That might be a bit much. I’ve met someone that I want to introduce to the family; he asked if he could meet them one by one. I think it’s best to just meet them all at once… when you meet them all at once you just blend in. When it’s one on one all the attention is on YOU. Be prepared for an interrogation!

Gifts are another thing to consider… how soon is too soon to exchange gifts? Should you talk about it? Should you just buy a gift if you want and don’t worry about receiving anything in return? If you do decide to exchange gifts, what do you get? Men are hard to shop for, socks, tie pin… you don’t want to get something too big… those are crappy gifts though. I’m not going to worry about it. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it. I have enough gifts to buy anyway, there are 12 of us lol. One of my nephews specifically said no clothes, lmao.

So much uncertainty. You don’t want to be pushy, but you don’t want to be put on the back burner. Do you have to make choices about who to spend the holidays with? Party with your friends on NYE or a romantic night? Or both party and then romance, ahhh best of both worlds ;-). Are women the only ones who worry about these things? Probably. I think we worry too much. Well, I’m not going to worry or think about anything. I’m happy and I’m just going to go with the flow. I’m drifting peacefully with a cool drink in my hand.

On another note. I got a new job!! I’m still with the bank, it’s a promotion, and one step closer to where I want to be. I am extremely excited about this opportunity and can’t wait to start on Monday.

 

NAO

Escapada de Puerto Rico

Hola, Como estas?

I went on a Girls Getaway to Puerto Rico and had a BLAST! I would’ve posted a pic that included them, but I feel weird about putting other people’s image out there.img_2458

 

My friends and I went to Puerto Rico for Labor Day weekend, there were eight of us in total . I will admit, that I was smidge nervous about traveling with so many women especially since I have never traveled with some of them, but it was actually an awesome experience. Bonding. Relaxing. Laughing. Partying. Drinking. What more does one need in a fabulous vacation? A man and sex probably!

 

We didn’t all stay in one room, but there was enough of us in one room where I mentally prepared myself for aggravation. I’m the type of person who does not like to waste my day, it drives me crazy when people are slow and take hours to get up and ready. This was NOT that experience, I don’t know how we did it, but we were up and out in under two hours most days. The first day we woke up around 630 am to catch our 8 am bus to go to El Yunque rainforest. Not only were we early for the bus, we were able to sit down to  breakfast AND go to the gift shop for water and water shoes. I was impressed!!

 

For the most part, we managed to do everything together. Another thing that I was a little worried about. Usually when there are so many people no one wants to do the same thing. Not us!! We went to El Yunque rainforest, Old San Juan, The Bacardi Distillery, La Placita to party (met some guys), the beach…. It was amazing! When people weren’t feeling good and went back or stayed in the room, it was all good. On another note, I don’t know what the bartenders in PR put in their drinks, but they taste like juice, yet the next morning I struggled to get my life, lol. My head was like, “bittcchhhh, you need to chill today.” I didn’t chill tho, I don’t listen, I  went to Bacardi to learn how to make three drinks. I’m a certified pro, according to the distillery anyway. I actually think the rum cured my headache. Thank you Bacardi!!

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We did have one sketchy moment where I thought, Oohhh laawwd, my sis ‘bout to lay them hands on somebody. So, three of us were walking down the street and we were talking about something that occurred earlier in the day. For some reason this group of young girls thought we were talking about them. When I walked past them I said, “have a good night ladies” and kept going chatting with my friends. Apparently they started talking trash and my sister, who is the smallest of the group, turned around and started to pop off. Now of course that means I gotta turn around, cause what you not ‘bout to do is talk crazy to my sister. Only I can do that, hehe. My friend extinguished the situation. Brawl and arrest averted, I just can’t… I saw this meme on Facebook and it said, we are in the backseat of a police car and I turn to you and say… I said, “I can’t with you” my sister said, “hehe, my bad.” FYI, my sister claims she is shy, side eye on that one!

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We had such a good time, we decided to have an annual trip. We’re thinking about Turks and Caicos for next year. Except for one friend who is engaged, we are all single, so hopefully this is something we can continue. These are relationships I hope to maintain. You always hear people say that women can’t be friends. I beg to differ, I have a great circle of friends. Why do people think that women can’t be friends with other women? Maybe it is they who can’t be friends, hhmm something to consider.

 

NAO

For Her. For Him. For Us.

7d7f6ea5184ff4f2d8768924bfbcd0e2 I was listening to For Her by Ricardo Del Rio this morning on Spotify and it made me think about a man I met recently. We went from strangers to I kinda like him, to OMG what did I get myself in to, to good riddance in two weeks. That has got to be a new record for a man pissing me off, lol. This man, in my opinion, had a very structured life and no room for a woman in it. It must be true what people say, don’t stay single for too long because it will be hard to share your life. This guy was 40 and said his last girlfriend was in high school; should’ve been clue number one.

We were somewhat alike, although it didn’t seem that we had much in common. How does that work? I don’t know, but it’s true we were similar just on opposite sides of the spectrum. I was willing to get to know him because he did have qualities that I did like. After a few convos, however, it became clear that it probably wouldn’t work, especially since he said he doesn’t like strong women which I am. He was very much an Alpha Male and we clashed on every topic especially those that involved how he wants to live his life in the future. One day I told him that I feel like he has his whole life planned and just wants a woman who he could plug into her place. Yes, her place.

For Her made me think about how we need to be open to compromise after a certain age for relationships to work. It has been at least 6 years since I had to share my life with another person or consider another person’s feelings. I’m ready, but it didn’t seem to me that he was. You’re probably wondering how did I know that in only two weeks. It was the way he spoke to me, he would not waiver in his ideas, and he was somewhat controlling. I don’t think he was a bad guy, just not a good match for me. Thanks a lot Eharmony, with those commercials that come on every five minutes. Thanks a lot sis-in-law who convinced me to sign up, you both get the side eye. Ha, just kidding, sort of.

Next guy I meet I am going to consider if I come off the same way this dude came off to me. I want the next man to be open to make changes for me, me for him, and we for us.

Is there a such thing as being single too long? What do you think?

Anyway, check out the song, For Her by Ricardo Del Rio on Spotify, it’s pretty cool.

NAO

Trump’s Impact on Black Dating

I’ve never used my blog to discuss politics, but this is getting out of hand and I’ve had three dating experience that have been impacted by political beliefs. Thank you Trump for inspiring my first blog post of the year. Never thought I’d thank him for anything.

I am first going to respond to Trump’s question about what Black people have to lose by supporting him, which I also previously posted on FB.

How about my life? That’s something I value. How about the life of my family? That’s something I value. How about the life of every person in this country who looks like me, male or female? That’s something I value. Those are big things to lose under leadership who’s rhetoric is so filled with hate and white supremacy that his mindless drones have a mission to shoot and kill people on sight who look like me. I do not feel safe in the skin that I’m in and there’s nothing I can do about it except not vote for Trump, because it won’t make anything any better, but can definitely make things worse. Because I value my life and all the lives of those who look like me, I have A LOT to lose!! ✊🏾🇺🇸 ‪#‎blacklivesmatters ‪#‎mylifematters ‪#‎alottolose

Now how does this relate?

I went on a blind date with a man that I was introduced to by a friend. I should’ve known his ass was crazy after I Googled him, but I’ll respect his privacy. It was going alright, yes, just alright, in the beginning, and was on a steady decline. I just wasn’t feeling his personality. It was time for me to go, however, when he informed me that he does not vote. I asked, “How can you not vote?” Of course no good response. He does not vote at all in any capacity, presidential, local, amendments, nothing!! I thought that was so ignorant. All that we as Black people have endured to get the right to vote, he was just throwing it away and thought it was funny. If we don’t have anything else, we have our voice and he opts to throw it away. No respect; no second date.

I met a second individual, a White man. For the most part, I exclusively date Black men because it is what I like, it is what I am attracted to, and Black men are who I think I would have more in common with. Anyway, I am trying to be open, I don’t have a problem with White men, just not what I’m dawn to. Very first conversation he informs me he is voting for Trump. I agree, you can vote for whoever you want. I can entertain a relationship with whoever I want. This isn’t going to work. Last phone convo. I like to think that I am an opened minded person, but there has been not one thing that Trump has ever said that I can respect or support. Heck the dude wasn’t even able to say anything, he just didn’t like Hillary. Trump does not value my life or those who look like me and he is verbal about it. In fact he doesn’t value anyone other than himself and his supporters are a distant second if that. Any man who would consider dating a Black woman, could not have possible thought his opinions on supporting Trump would go over well. I could possibly have gotten over the fact that he was a Republican, but not the Trump supporter!

Third experience, this man and I were having a political discussion. He does not support Trump or Hillary. I hear that a lot, ok, let’s discuss. I asked him, what is his problem with Hillary. His response, “I don’t know, there is just something about her.” Ok, again you can support whomever you choose, but I believe you should be an educated voter. I don’t think anyone has to support Hillary, but I find it strange when you are adamant you don’t like someone and yet have NO idea as to why. It just makes you look silly. He is just on the bandwagon. He does not have an opinion of his own. Not a very attractive quality. That’s over!

In my opinion, political values need to be in line. We may not always agree, but when your values contradict mine, we are in for a life of disagreements and disrespect.

Let me know your thoughts. Would you date someone who’s political beliefs are a contrast to yours?

 

NAO

 

 

The Stigma of being a Single Lady

2014-07-15 02.29.12Why does being a single woman have a stigma? Why is it assumed that there is something wrong with her, especially if she is attractive? Why is it asked what did she do wrong? Why is it strange to be single for over a certain length of time? Men never receive this sort of treatment. For them, they just haven’t met the right one yet or the last woman was crazy. Crazy? Why do men always claim that a woman is crazy? That’s a whole another discussion.

My sister met this man, also single, and he practically gave her a lecture on the fact that she has been single for a few years now. He was suggesting because she has been single for “so long” that there must be something wrong with HER. She must be too picky. Her standards must be too high. Maybe it isn’t she cant find a man, she can’t keep a man. He told her that’s it’s not normal that she has been single for however many years, I think three or four.

Why can’t it be that she hasn’t found the right one? Maybe she decided to focus on raising her son. Maybe she wanted to focus on her education. Maybe she wanted to focus on furthering her career. Maybe it’s because she meets idiots like him who worry about the wrong thing. Heck, why the f*** is he single? Maybe he drives women crazy. I know that discussion would drive me crazy!

The one I hate most…Why must her standards be too high? Why shouldn’t women have standards? Should we just settle for any old man that is willing to “tolerate” us. Ohhh the double standards. Men never settle for what they don’t want. I had a man tell me that he called it off with a woman who was fine from head to ankle, he couldn’t deal with the corn on her baby toe :-|. Women on the other hand meet a man who moves furniture, has no skill, no education, plays basketball all day are made to feel they should accept this. Why? Because he’s a man, any man.

Ladies there is nothing wrong with being single; it’s an opportune time to accomplish so much. I would much rather be single than be in an unhappy and unfulfilling relationship. You should wait on the man that makes you smile; not settle for the unemployed man who lives with his parents and has kids that he can not support. Never settle for less than you deserve. My friend says, “If you can’t meet me  (profession, finance, goals etc.) don’t greet me.”

NAO

Worst Date Ever!

Hi everyone, long time no blog.

Some people seem to think that I’m being picky with men and I completely disagree!! Let me tell everyone about my last date.

This gentlemen asked me to lunch on a Saturday morning. I had no other plans, so why not. He said that he wanted to go the casino. He asked me if I liked to gamble and I told him no. He said that he was going to arrive early so that he can gamble and once I arrive he would be able to focus his attention on me. Oh, I didn’t mention that this was our FIRST date. So I arrive about 10 minutes early to the casino and he comes out to meet me. He tells me that he has money on a table. Ok, I’m reasonable, I want him to finish his game. He asks me to take a seat. I say no because how long will this possibly take? Longer than I thought!! He played several games of Poker. I thought he was just going to finish his chips and then we would go and have lunch. NOPE. After he finished at that table he went to another table to play Black Jack. He asked me when we approached the Black Jack table if I was hungry. I said YES. WTF wouldn’t I be hungry?! I didn’t say the WTF part (I have home training). I thought that was going to be the cue to wrap up and have lunch. NOPE. He sat down and began to play. Several games. Again, I was thinking that he will finish his chips because he was losing miserably. NOPE he purchased $200 more!

At this point it’s clear that I’m getting agitated at his inconsiderate behavior. I didn’t ask him to lunch, he asked me. I was fine at home relaxing AND I didn’t care if we ever went out to be frank; I could already tell that I wasn’t going to like him. Listening to everyone else, I decided to give him a chance. I’m standing by the Black Jack table, practically in the isle, with my arms crossed and I’m very quiet. He tries to make small talk as he places his bets, but I’m over it. Finally after losing most of his money, we go to the restaurant and see that it doesn’t open for another 20 minutes. Instead of us sitting down and getting to know one another, he goes back to the table to play more!!! While he’s playing, he asks me if I was having fun; I said no. Those of you who know me, know my face reveals every emotion. Do you think that stopped him from gambling? NOPE. Then he tells me the reason why he chose the casino was because it has quiet spots and different restaurants. We weren’t in either! He asked me what I liked about him and I said don’t know yet. Clearly not very good at reading people because at that point I liked NOTHING.

Do we finally eat? Yes. Did he redeem himself? No. Afterwards, he sent me a text and asked if we should we hang out like today more often. HELL NO!! Ughhhh.

See folks, I’m not picky. I just have experiences like these. I think he was self-centered and not considerate of my feelings. I just want a NORMAL man. A man who will not ask me out to ignore me. A man who doesn’t have a gambling habit. A man that I enjoy his company. I can hit the nickel slots every now and again, but his behavior was ridiculous. I truly don’t think that I’m asking too much. I’m not picky, but I’m not going to settle for jerks. I would much rather be alone. Hopefully my next date with someone else will be better.

NAO

To Friend Zone or Not to Friend Zone

Have you ever met someone that you were kind of interested in, started spending time with, but wound up in an undefined zone? Not quite friends, but not really dating or in a relationship. You’re really not even sure where it’s going or where you want it to go. I have a friend who is experiencing this and it seems to be a zone of uncertainty and confusion.

Let me fill you in on the deets…

I have a friend who met a man who seems to be a genuine person. He is the appropriate age, she finds him attractive, employed, kind hearted, etc. He has a daughter, is an involved father, and doesn’t seem to have any baby mamma drama. According to her, he has a great sense of humor and always makes her laugh. She finds him to be caring, thoughtful, and an overall pleasant person.

Why is my friend considering placing this man in the friend zone? I’m going to preface my next few thoughts with this… People like what they like. People are attracted and drawn to certain physical traits and personalities, whatever they may be. I suggest, there is nothing wrong with that and that it’s natural. I went to a seminar held by a preacher who wrote a book on dating and he stated that rule #1 was to be attracted to person you are with. It is important to make sure that you get what you like!

I said all of that to say, there are some things that she has an issue with… his height, his profession, and his taste in certain things. I’m sure at this point some of you are rolling your eyes and saying, “This is why women can’t find a good man,” blah blah blah… Consider if you were in her shoes. Just because someone will date a person who is 4 inches shorter than they are doesn’t mean that a person who will not is a bad person. I don’t know if I would want to date someone who is 6’8 so why should she have to date someone who is 5’6 if it’s not appealing to her. He’s not going to grow; it is what is. His height is something that she will have to take or leave, she may opt to leave.

They are in different stages of their careers; he is a customer service rep. I will be the FIRST to say as long as you’re not robbing me, I can respect your job. You may make less than me, but you are making a honest living and I am happy. BUT should a CEO date the cafeteria guy? They are in completely different places. Now the difference between the professions of these two are not that extreme, but you get my point. It may not be “right” but that’s life. She’s not in her 20’s and is thinking about the big picture. I suggested that she discuss goals with him; this job may just be a temporary situation while he works on big moves.

She’s also not feeling his style. This can be changed, but again you have to be into your man from his dress to the car he drives. If he likes those old school long cars with the spinning rims and you just have a regular Corolla, his car could be a bit much. Now you have to take your car everywhere because you are embarrassed of his. This can become a headache especially if he isn’t contributing to gas. I don’t know about where you live, but gas is expensive. These things matter!

So my friend is torn. She likes him, enjoys talking to him, and spending time with him, but isn’t sure how she feels about the things that I mentioned. It is very clear that he has feelings for her so if she does friend zone him, more likely than not, their friendship will end. This has got to be a tough spot to be in. If she feels this way he may not be the guy for her, but he also very well could be. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes what you like and are generally attracted to, may not be what is best for you. However, why force yourself to be in a situation that you aren’t 100% comfortable with. If she liked him that much she probably would care. I’m not even sure what I would do. Maybe she should just ride it out and enjoy his company until she is forced to make a choice. Is that inconsiderate? Poor fella probably has no idea.

NAO

Attention: How Does a Man Deal with Conlict?

Men have the most interesting way of dealing with conflicts in relationships. They DON’T!!! They IGNORE IT!!!

Men are very peculiar. Why do men think that if they don’t talk about a problem, it will go away? I’ve always realized this, but I guess I figured with age it would diminish. I should’ve known better; I was delusional. Sorry dad, but you do it too. I even noticed that my grandpa did it. One day, many years ago, my grandma was pestering my grandpa and was on a rant about something. My grandpa literally acted like he didn’t hear that she was speaking to him, he didn’t flinch to point it made me wonder if he could hear at all. I was ready to bring up hearing aids, lol. After my grandma was done yelling, he gave me a secret smile and waved his hand and her. She was gone and he was back in peace to finish watching Matlock, lmao. I guess if he engaged in the conversation, it would’ve went on and on and he would’ve missed his show. There was no DVR then.

Well, fellas let me tell you something… It’s annoying!!! Women HATE to be ignored. LISTEN. ENGAGE. Let’s talk this out. Once we TALK about it, we can move forward and have some take aways. If you ignore it, it will just come up again AND then we have to talk about it again! It truly is a vicious cycle that can be broken if you STOP the silence. It can’t just be me who feels this way? Talking is GOOD!!

I swear I wonder how men have survived this long. Just floating through life avoiding deep discussions. How does that work? There must be a part of a man’s brain that differs from a woman’s brain that makes men incapable of communicating with a woman about feelings and relationships. It’s funny they lack the focus to discuss issues, but when it comes down to sports they know the players, the numbers, the stats. They can damn near write a biography and make an impromptu presentation about their favorite player that will range from the players childhood to present endorsements. Why is it that when their significant other wants to discuss an issue or two that their vocabulary is suddenly limited? Limited to a moan and maybe the words, “here we go.” WTF.

So the other night before bed I was having a discussion with my boyfriend, not an argument, but a discussion over text. All of a sudden he was MIA and no longer responding. When we spoke the next day on the phone, I asked why he stopped responding. His response, “I didn’t want to deal with it.” SMH. Just that easy huh? I felt like we could’ve wrapped up our discussion, but instead I had to get annoyed because I was being ignored. I guess women are the only ones who need closure.

This not dealing with things makes me think of a guy that I met at a party last year. One day after our plans got messed and I was upset, rightfully so, I never heard from him again. We were talking about it and then it just stopped. He didn’t want to deal with it. He probably thought I was angrier than I was. He, quite frankly, couldn’t have liked me that much because his actions were inconsiderate. My point here, if he had finished our discussion and moved forward I wouldn’t think he was an inconsiderate asshole, but instead a man that I met and it didn’t work out.

Men, I get that you don’t want to miss Matlock or whatever your show is. I get it. Life moves on, in your mind, faster if you just ignore the situation. IT DOESN’T! While you have moved on and completed your show, we’re angry. Do you really want your woman angry?

Well, I didn’t bring it up again. So I guess he won this one. Or did he? Yeah he may have stopped engaging, but he still had to listen. Hopefully something was absorbed to avoid the situation from coming up again.

Welp that’s my rant. Men, knock it off.

 

NAO

Five Phases of a Relationship

Hi, long time no write 🙂

I have been in a relationship for about four months now after a three year hiatus. I’ve been going on dates for so long that it’s weird to be in a relationship; it’s not quite the same vibe. When you’re being wooed (Do people still use that word?) you get a lot of attention, get taken out every weekend, and they say all the right things. It’s great!! It took me a minute to remember that doesn’t last forever. I guess I’m a bit of a brat, but whatever, that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. After two dates or so, I generally never saw the person. It made me forget about the various phases that people go through when in a relationship. Once someone got on my nerves, my friends would hear, “uuughhh girl I dunnoooo” and sure enough it was over. So now that I am in a relationship and like the man that I am seeing, I need to reinforce my nerves lmao. It’s not all about me, it’s mostly about me, but not ALL about me hehehe just kidding, sorta 😉

1. In the first phase you meet a man’s representative. He’s on his best behavior and says all of the right things to make you giggle like a teenager. You go out all the time to the point you feel like a tourist in your own town because you’re doing so many different things. Yes, he is probably breaking his bank account, but it’s an investment. Right? Right. I think so. Everything is great and you see everything through rose colored glasses. You have officially met the greatest man in the WORLD!! Ladies eat your heart out, he’s taken! You can see myself falling in love with this one. Until, you move into the next phase. I’d say phase one lasts about 3 months, give or take dependent upon how much time you two spend together. When you start to spend more time indoors than outdoors then you know you moved into the next phase of your relationship.

2. In the second phase of the relationship, the representative starts to disappear. You both start to lower your guards and reveal your insecurities and issues that probably would’ve scared the other off if revealed in the first month. You go out less, but still hang out often. The sweet words may be less frequent and he may be brutally honest and tell you that your hair looks a mess, but know that it’s with love. All of the jokes that you thought were sooo hilarious, you now and probably really never did, get. But he is still awesome and you are happy to be together because he brings a smile to your face, hopefully. This phase can last anywhere from the 3rd month of your relationship to your one year anniversary.

3. It starts to get real in this phase. No more holding in the farts or not taking a poop at his place, hey they are both natural body functions. No more waking up early to hide the morning breath. He is now seeing that, unlike Beyoncé, you do not wake up like “this.” It takes work and effort and since we aren’t going anywhere, I’m not putting in the effort to get all fine. You are both comfortable and may be settling into a rut, although I hope not. This phase doesn’t really end, it kind of transitions into the next and is ongoing.

4. In phase four, you might start to get the itch. Do you really like this man? Can you really see yourself with this person for the long haul? Yes, you’ve invested some time, but probably not so much time that you can’t move on to someone else. The jokes are no longer funny, his snoring keeps you up at night, and his farts make you wonder if he has a gastrointestinal problem. If you’re not in love already, you may have to decide to call it quits. On the flip, you may fall in more in love with your man which leads in the next phase.

5. The last phase is when women, especially those who want to get married and have kids, ask “Where is this going?” You’ve gotten this far; you must be in love. You might still like his jokes or just laugh to make him feel good about himself. You probably realize that you’re not getting any younger and don’t have time to waste. You’re ovaries are starting to hurt and your clock is ticking so loud it vibrates in your ears. So you want to know, what’s the next step? Exchange keys? Move in together? Get engaged? A relationship needs to progress and move forward.

Sometimes two, three, and four can occur simultaneously.

I am currently in phase 2. My boyfriend and I are learning each other and it is interesting. I feel like I am experiencing some growing pains, but no rule breakers… thank goodness. I have learned that it is important for me to remember that he and I are a new couple and I can’t expect him to know everything about me or be able to read my mind. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t quite understand him, but that’s ok because if we work in time I will. I’m also learning that when in a relationship a man will sometimes do things that I don’t like and that will annoy me, but I also have to remember when he does sweet things too. I will remember when he sent me a bouquet for Valentine’s Day and when he sized my new air filter because the manufacturer of mine made the air filter in a size that you can’t buy from anyone other than them. Those are the moments when I feel, aawwweee he really likes me.

NAO

Intro Phrases that Scare Men

I always knew that men didn’t really like to talk, but I didn’t realize that certain phrases cripple them. I mean really leave them stressed and thinking the world is going to come to an end. Come on guys, man up. Talking doesn’t always mean there’s something wrong, it just means we want to talk. Communication is key. Here are a few phrases that apparently one should never use when initiating a conversation with the boyfriend.

The ever so popular, we need to talk – I have been given several lectures on this. DO NOT say these words! My boyfriend told that if I said those words to him that he’d probably avoid me for a few days. I laughed until I couldn’t laugh anymore. I guess it’s like waiting for the impending doom! I consulted FB, the source of all knowledge, and yep I should never say those words. I have been schooled on the problem. The problem is, why do you NEED to talk? Why not just talk? Uhm I don’t know, maybe I can’t talk right NOW and I’m letting you know that later we’re going to talk. Maybe it’s all in the approach.

I’ve been thinking – Apparently another hated phrase. Now men don’t want women to think? Do men think that if women have enough time to think that we will realize that they are not the greatest thing since the smart phone? Do men think that women will start to consider, hhmm I can do better? Why do men always think the worse? Maybe what comes after, I’ve been thinking, is that we should take a romantic cruise. Have they ever considered that?

So listen – My friend said that he hates to hear these words. His thoughts are… Why do you have to say, listen? I am listening. Are you? Maybe she is telling you to listen because you usually don’t. Maybe you are usually distracted and that is why she needs to emphasize, listen. Maybe she wants to make sure you’re focused. Sounds to me like she is really trying to help you out! Lol

Let’s talk – similar to we need to talk minus the need. The last time that I said let’s talk. My boyfriend said, we are talking. Yes, we were in fact talking, but I didn’t want to talk about talking. I wanted to talk about stuff. Nothing in particular, just stuff. What have I learned? No introductory phrases; I need to just start talking. Oh and don’t start a conversation of with so. Soooo…. That’s just as bad, especially if you let your eyes wander off into the distance lmao.

These might go both ways and not be gender specific, but somehow I doubt it. You know, I just had a thought. Maybe men hate, we need to talk, because they know they’ve been lacking or slacking and now it’s finally going to be brought to their attention. I bet that is what the underlying issue is. I’m a genius, I know. 🙂

 

NAO

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