MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Archive for the tag “Alexandra Fox”

No More Dating Games!

Hi everyone! I hope all is well. I think I lost 10lbs, but I could’ve possibly gained 10lbs, or maybe my weight didn’t move at all and my scale is just broken!! Who knows! My scale reads something different every time I get on and I just take the best number as accurate lol!

So the other day I was talking to my male friend Dew Dew, gotta love the nick names lol… Wait let me rewind and come back to this.

So as those you who have been following my blog know, this year I have been actively dating after a two year hiatus and the end of a four year relationship. It’s been fun and aggravating all at the same time. Since I haven’t dated in years, I’ve been reading several books, blogs, and articles on dating to get filled in on the new new.

Rewind a bit more…

I went to a singles retreat last year hosted by a church. The pastor mentioned that he did not like Steve Harvey’s book. He felt like the book was teaching people how to play a game and relationships should not be viewed as a game… I don’t remember what else he said and I didn’t necessarily agree with what he said… He lost me somewhere along the way when he shared the 10 rules of dating. I’ll tell you briefly. 1. No sex 2. No Sex 3. No Sex 4. No Sex 5. No Sex 6. No Sex 7. No Sex 8. No sex 9. No Sex 10. No Sex. So there you go!!! Now, I’m not suggesting that you should have sex, but…

Fast forward…

I have been reading “Unmask the Male Mind” by Alexandra Fox. This is a book that I’ve mentioned before, she suggests women to implement the rotation system when dating. The book has a section about what men are supposed to do and what women are supposed to do. Fox says, until a relationship has been established that women should never call men. She said when she was dating, to avoid calling a man she would actually delete his number from her phone and call log as well as delete any text. She figured if he was interested in talking to her that he would call.

This brings us to present. I asked my friend Dew Dew if it’s ok to call a man you’re interested in. His response, “if you want to talk to him just call.” He thinks you shouldn’t be obsessive and stalkerish, but if you want to talk, just call.

Then it hit me!! This is what the pastor was talking about. Why do we play all these silly little games? What is wrong with calling? The phone works both ways! If I’m thinking about a man that I’m interested in during the day, what’s the issue with sending a message just to say, “I hope you are having a good day”? Any man that runs because he crossed my mind, is not worth my time!!

And another thing!! I don’t want to put men on rotation!! I want to date one man at the time and if that doesn’t work out, move on to the next one. I’m pretty charming. As of March 8, Check In has viewed my profile 26 times!!! I’ve never even met him. So can you imagine if I graced him with my presence?!?!? I’d never be able to shake him!! Lol, I’m being silly, but it’s just not me. I get attached, he gets attached and now I have to break someone’s heart. No Bueno!!

So thank you Dew Dew for helping me reach this epiphany. From now on, I’m going to do what I want and what I think feels right for ME. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, better luck next time!


Implement the Rotation System?!


Hey everyone, I hope you have been enjoying your week. My computer was out of commission for the past few days, but now I’m back!

What have you missed?

A friend and I had a mutual connection with online dating, hahahaha, the pool is too small. It’s all good though, the guy and I never went out or anything.

Another friend had the dilemma of, do you tell a friend what you know…

I had a breakthrough. I proved, unscientifically, a theory that I have about men who pose topless and with cars, but I’ll share that another time.

And now… I have been told that I should think of dating like shopping; men are shirts. You walk around the store and you pick up several shirts, try on a few shirts, put some back, try on some more, and may even leave with a few. So what happens to the two or three shirts you have decided to take home? You wear them. Now what? You don’t really like the shirt as much as you thought and you take it back. What if you do like the shirt? Or kinda like the shirt? What if you like both shirts? Now you’ve got two shirts! You can only wear one shirt at the time! Isn’t it bad to take a shirt back once you’ve worn it, although the tags may still be on? This is so complex to me!

I like to wear one shirt at the time and when I know longer have a use for the shirt or no longer like the shirt, I stop wearing it and move on to another shirt. Guess I’m just weird.

I started reading “Unmask the Male Mind” by Alexandra Fox. The book provides 77 secrets to unmask the male psychology.  Secret 9 (men look away) is that women should implement the “Rotation System.” Women should date three men at a time until the one you are really interested in asks to be exclusive. The author states that the rotation system is how she met the man of her dreams. She suggests, that this system will prevent you from being needy and make a man work harder to have you all to himself. Hhhmm I suppose.

Not sure if I can do this. I worry someone, probably me, will end up getting hurt. The book said, women shouldn’t worry about hurting men because they are used to rejection; just be direct and honest. Damn my kind heart always thinking about other people’s feelings. I had a friend tell me, I really shouldn’t be so concerned because a man probably wouldn’t care anyway… especially if we aren’t exclusive. Sigh!! It’s been a few months and I’m already worn out from dating. To bad my culture doesn’t do arranged marriages; I’d sign up!!

Ladies check out the book, it is definitely an interesting read.



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