MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Archive for the category “Friends”

Escapada de Puerto Rico

Hola, Como estas?

I went on a Girls Getaway to Puerto Rico and had a BLAST! I would’ve posted a pic that included them, but I feel weird about putting other people’s image out there.img_2458

 

My friends and I went to Puerto Rico for Labor Day weekend, there were eight of us in total . I will admit, that I was smidge nervous about traveling with so many women especially since I have never traveled with some of them, but it was actually an awesome experience. Bonding. Relaxing. Laughing. Partying. Drinking. What more does one need in a fabulous vacation? A man and sex probably!

 

We didn’t all stay in one room, but there was enough of us in one room where I mentally prepared myself for aggravation. I’m the type of person who does not like to waste my day, it drives me crazy when people are slow and take hours to get up and ready. This was NOT that experience, I don’t know how we did it, but we were up and out in under two hours most days. The first day we woke up around 630 am to catch our 8 am bus to go to El Yunque rainforest. Not only were we early for the bus, we were able to sit down to  breakfast AND go to the gift shop for water and water shoes. I was impressed!!

 

For the most part, we managed to do everything together. Another thing that I was a little worried about. Usually when there are so many people no one wants to do the same thing. Not us!! We went to El Yunque rainforest, Old San Juan, The Bacardi Distillery, La Placita to party (met some guys), the beach…. It was amazing! When people weren’t feeling good and went back or stayed in the room, it was all good. On another note, I don’t know what the bartenders in PR put in their drinks, but they taste like juice, yet the next morning I struggled to get my life, lol. My head was like, “bittcchhhh, you need to chill today.” I didn’t chill tho, I don’t listen, I  went to Bacardi to learn how to make three drinks. I’m a certified pro, according to the distillery anyway. I actually think the rum cured my headache. Thank you Bacardi!!

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We did have one sketchy moment where I thought, Oohhh laawwd, my sis ‘bout to lay them hands on somebody. So, three of us were walking down the street and we were talking about something that occurred earlier in the day. For some reason this group of young girls thought we were talking about them. When I walked past them I said, “have a good night ladies” and kept going chatting with my friends. Apparently they started talking trash and my sister, who is the smallest of the group, turned around and started to pop off. Now of course that means I gotta turn around, cause what you not ‘bout to do is talk crazy to my sister. Only I can do that, hehe. My friend extinguished the situation. Brawl and arrest averted, I just can’t… I saw this meme on Facebook and it said, we are in the backseat of a police car and I turn to you and say… I said, “I can’t with you” my sister said, “hehe, my bad.” FYI, my sister claims she is shy, side eye on that one!

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We had such a good time, we decided to have an annual trip. We’re thinking about Turks and Caicos for next year. Except for one friend who is engaged, we are all single, so hopefully this is something we can continue. These are relationships I hope to maintain. You always hear people say that women can’t be friends. I beg to differ, I have a great circle of friends. Why do people think that women can’t be friends with other women? Maybe it is they who can’t be friends, hhmm something to consider.

 

NAO

Dating with EB

Hi everyone, long time no write. I’ve been preoccupied or as one of my friend’s would say, lazy. I’m not saying that agree with his calling me lazy, but ehhhh it’s not worth the energy to argue. My energy has been focused on working, social life, family, and ohhh dating. I went to a comedy show recently and the comic, whose name I forget although he was hilarious, said dating after 30 is like shopping on Black Friday when it’s nearly over. All of the good stuff is gone and what’s left has been picked over. Even if you do find something good; you get it home and learn that it’s broken 🙂

I try not to complain too much about dating, notice I said try, the struggle is real. I do meet men fairly often, and at this point it’s a numbers game. I figure I’m healthy, smart, attractive, blah, blah, blah all those good qualities a man would want. Right? Right. In my heart, I have no doubt that I will fall in love again eventually. I do have a friend, however, who is not so sure.

Dating with a disease or disability must be a challenge; hell it’s hard as shit as a healthy person. I have a male friend who has Epidermolysis bullosa (EB) and recently started online dating. EB is a genetic disease that causes blisters on the skin and mucosal membranes (Google for more deets). His mom has been nagging him for YEARS to get married. He is from India and two steps away from having his ass arranged if he doesn’t get a move on. So he’s taking action. He’s created a profile and in his about me mentions his disease… being up front and honest I see. I suppose he shouldn’t hide it; it’s a major part of his life.

He found that he isn’t have much luck and believes that if a woman can have a healthy man, why would they want him. My heart goes out to him. He said whenever a woman reaches out to him, he first tells her about the disease and advises her to Google it. My first thought was, WTF would you do that for?! Don’t give her an excuse to discount you especially if it’s already mentioned on your profile. Her bad for glossing over, j/k. She obviously saw whatever she saw, was interested, and reached out to him. Now here he goes and tells her, proceed with caution, read the fine print, and get back to me. After she Googles it or not, who knows, he never hears from her again.

As a woman I can only imagine how hard it would be to start a relationship with a man that has a medical condition. I would think it would be emotionally draining and expensive, but that doesn’t mean that another woman would not be strong enough or willing to handle it. Maybe my friend should have a conversation with the interested woman and see where it goes and allow her to ask questions. Give her a chance to get to know him outside of his disease and not give her an excuse to dash after initial contact.

Other than my friend constantly calling me lazy, he’s a good guy and quit funny. He was born not expected to leave the hospital alive and is now in his 30s. He’s a survivor. He has a good job, is working towards his Master’s, and lives a rewarding life. Why not meet someone with the same condition, you wonder. His condition is genetic and probably isn’t a good idea. I suppose if they never want to procreate, it may be an excellent idea. They will understand each other’s struggle and be wonderful companions.

I wish my buddy the best of luck on his dating journey. Hell, with my luck he’ll probably be married before me. I have always wanted to go to an Indian wedding, I hear they are awesome parties that last for days!!!

NAO

Why are Woman Emotional Thinkers

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Women are emotional thinkers. I’m not saying all, I’m not saying most, but it is certainly something that I have observed and myself am guilty of. I find that I care more about a man’s feelings than I do my own sometimes. WTF is that about?! I started considering this after a conversation with a friend, Kris (not her real name). She’s single, I’m single and we share dating horror stories.

Kris met a guy two weeks ago, no more than three, if I’m not mistaken. She showed me a picture that they took together the night they met and something about his body language and the way he was holding her made me comment, “a bit much don’t you think?” Let me pause right here. Anyone who knows me, knows, DO NOT ask what I think about anything if you really don’t want to know because I WILL tell you. Ok back to the story… Kris agreed and said that he’s just affectionate and shrugged it off. Ok, I let it go.

I talk to her a few days later and asked how it’s going and she sighs. She tells me that it’s going okay, but he calls a lot and text a lot. Not in a, “Hey babe, how’s your day?” kind of way. He will call at 8:00, if she doesn’t answer then he will call at 8:15, if she doesn’t answer then he will send a text. One could argue he’s concerned, but I would argue he’s a pain in the ass. I can’t have more than 15 minutes to get back to you, what if I’m on the toilet or something. Can I not enjoy my place of solitude and peace? Her words are saying that things are cool, although the calling thing kinda bugs her, but her exasperations are saying, “OMG, what did I get myself into?” I just tell her to be careful with this one.

I talk to her again and this time they are going on a date. Again, she sighs when I mention his name. If that’s not a red flag, I don’t know what is. She said that he wears her out and is coming on too strong. The date wasn’t even a date it was a group of friends hanging out because she didn’t want to be alone with him. She doesn’t even like to tell him where she is because she’s worried that he will pop up to make sure that she is there. If you don’t remember, in the second paragraph, I mentioned that they met two to three weeks ago!!! So now I go in with my unsolicited advice. If you know me you also know, I don’t really care, I’m gonna give it to you how it is and hope you know it’s coming from a place of love. I told her that he is going to be insecure, controlling, possessive, jealous, and clingy. I forgot to mention that when she walked away from him for one moment on the group date, he asked her if she got anyone’s number. Dude, she just went to wash her hands. I told her that he is going to be one of those men who isolate their woman and control their lives and probably has the potential to be abusive. I told her that he isn’t even trying to woo her or earn her affection, he’s pushing himself on her. He’s making sure he takes up so much of her time that she has time for nothing else.

I share this story to say, her response was that maybe she should just talk to him and tell him he’s coming on to strong because maybe he doesn’t know. Now I’m annoyed!! He’s an adult. He knows. You know. It’s only been two weeks; now is the time to do something about it. Walk away! If this is the way he behaves after two weeks, imagine two months or two years. Kris is being an emotional thinker. She does not want to hurt his feelings because she said he is a nice guy and that maybe his ex-girlfriend cheated and that’s why he is insecure. To that I say, “So what, it is not your problem.” I explained to her that he is showing you who he is. Men always show us who they are, but we pretend that we can’t see it. She is worried about hurting him and making him feel bad that, but she’s not considering that she herself is so uncomfortable that every time the topic of this guy comes up she literally sighs and seems to be stressed out. You met him TWO WEEKS ago!!! F***K him and his feelings. I’m just saying! If she behaved like him to a man she met two weeks, he would’ve dropped her like a scalding hot rock.

I’m not judging her, because I get it. I find that I and many of my other friends face the same issue. We don’t want to be the bad guy and essentially put a man’s needs in front of our own. It’s unacceptable. We need to do better than this especially in an instance where the consequences can be detrimental. I pray that Kris leaves this man alone. She has not invested much time or energy and it should be no love lost at this point. She doesn’t even want to spend V-day with him, that’s speaks volumes. She told him that she has plans with her girls. If the guy that I was interested in asked me out for V-day, I’d drop my friends and hope them heifers understand. Just kidding ladies, no really. Everything about her demeanor and the things she tells me lets me know that she does not even like him, but because of her emotions she wants to give him a try. Maybe I’ve watched too much Snapped, but this does not sound like a good situation to me.

Feel free to share your thoughts

NAO

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