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To Friend Zone or Not to Friend Zone

Have you ever met someone that you were kind of interested in, started spending time with, but wound up in an undefined zone? Not quite friends, but not really dating or in a relationship. You’re really not even sure where it’s going or where you want it to go. I have a friend who is experiencing this and it seems to be a zone of uncertainty and confusion.

Let me fill you in on the deets…

I have a friend who met a man who seems to be a genuine person. He is the appropriate age, she finds him attractive, employed, kind hearted, etc. He has a daughter, is an involved father, and doesn’t seem to have any baby mamma drama. According to her, he has a great sense of humor and always makes her laugh. She finds him to be caring, thoughtful, and an overall pleasant person.

Why is my friend considering placing this man in the friend zone? I’m going to preface my next few thoughts with this… People like what they like. People are attracted and drawn to certain physical traits and personalities, whatever they may be. I suggest, there is nothing wrong with that and that it’s natural. I went to a seminar held by a preacher who wrote a book on dating and he stated that rule #1 was to be attracted to person you are with. It is important to make sure that you get what you like!

I said all of that to say, there are some things that she has an issue with… his height, his profession, and his taste in certain things. I’m sure at this point some of you are rolling your eyes and saying, “This is why women can’t find a good man,” blah blah blah… Consider if you were in her shoes. Just because someone will date a person who is 4 inches shorter than they are doesn’t mean that a person who will not is a bad person. I don’t know if I would want to date someone who is 6’8 so why should she have to date someone who is 5’6 if it’s not appealing to her. He’s not going to grow; it is what is. His height is something that she will have to take or leave, she may opt to leave.

They are in different stages of their careers; he is a customer service rep. I will be the FIRST to say as long as you’re not robbing me, I can respect your job. You may make less than me, but you are making a honest living and I am happy. BUT should a CEO date the cafeteria guy? They are in completely different places. Now the difference between the professions of these two are not that extreme, but you get my point. It may not be “right” but that’s life. She’s not in her 20’s and is thinking about the big picture. I suggested that she discuss goals with him; this job may just be a temporary situation while he works on big moves.

She’s also not feeling his style. This can be changed, but again you have to be into your man from his dress to the car he drives. If he likes those old school long cars with the spinning rims and you just have a regular Corolla, his car could be a bit much. Now you have to take your car everywhere because you are embarrassed of his. This can become a headache especially if he isn’t contributing to gas. I don’t know about where you live, but gas is expensive. These things matter!

So my friend is torn. She likes him, enjoys talking to him, and spending time with him, but isn’t sure how she feels about the things that I mentioned. It is very clear that he has feelings for her so if she does friend zone him, more likely than not, their friendship will end. This has got to be a tough spot to be in. If she feels this way he may not be the guy for her, but he also very well could be. Sometimes you have to step out of your comfort zone. Sometimes what you like and are generally attracted to, may not be what is best for you. However, why force yourself to be in a situation that you aren’t 100% comfortable with. If she liked him that much she probably would care. I’m not even sure what I would do. Maybe she should just ride it out and enjoy his company until she is forced to make a choice. Is that inconsiderate? Poor fella probably has no idea.


Happy New Year!!

It’s that time again. Goodbye to another year.  figure-out-where-spend-eve-new-year-ecards-someecards

Let’s reflect… I’ve had a pretty good 2013. Right now I’m sitting, alone, in a restaurant that I’ve never been in before. Old Natalie liked to stick to what she knew, my friend Raya would be so proud. It’s an organic vegetarian & vegan restaurant at that!

This year, I’ve experienced some new thing and accomplished a few things.

1. I started going to church, alone.

2. I started my blog and an outline of my book.

3. I went on several interesting dates.

4. I met a man that I like, yaye!!! 🙂

5. I’m leaving the year with the same friends that I entered the year with; that’s always a good thing. I also made some new friends at work and through mutual friends. My circle is expanding with positivity.

6. I have a new position at work and it’s a promotion!!

7. I’ve been consistent with my weight. Still wearing the same size; can’t be mad at that!

8. I’m in good health; the family is in good health.

9. I went on two great vacations.

Pretty good 2013 if I do say so myself. I’m ready to tackle the New Year and have made some resolutions.

1. To be more active in church. I’ve been slacking 😦

2. To make exercise a CONSISTENT part of my life – I will definitely need some motivation for this one… uugghh why is working out so hard? I need to get into a groove. Someone was supposed to have me salsa dancing by now, I wont name any names, Tasha. I think that I am going to have to do a boot camp or something. Something that will be a scheduled part of my life. I did a boot camp once at USF and I really enjoyed it. I’m going to look into that… it’s kinda cold out right now though… ok no excuses

3. Eat a healthier diet – I’ve been doing alright in this aspect. My house has no juice, soda, or snacks. I can offer my guest water and peanuts lmao. I just need to get more fruits and veggies in my life. I have made the decision to no longer eat fast food and begin an organic lifestyle.

4. Decrease the amount of money I spend eating out – I am so weak in this area. I LOVE eating out!! I have decided to practice the cash rule, once it’s gone no eating out. At least I don’t have to worry about fast food… McDonalds et al will NEVER see another cent of my money. Those who know me, know that I do mean NEVER.

5. Focus more time or writing – Blog more often, while still ensuring that I’m not blogging for the sake of blogging. Focus on my book because right now it’s a skeleton lol. Less TV, more reading and more writing.

I think those are quite realistic and attainable goals; I am hoping for a prosperous 2014 and wishing everyone the same.




My Stance on the Fast Food War

First, I want to say rest in peace to Nelson Mandela, a very courageous man who’s contributions will never be forgotten.

Now, I’ve never used my blog to discuss social issues, but this is my blog and I can do what I want.

As we all know, fast food workers have been striking to get higher wages. Apparently $15 a hour… Although I can’t speak for the whole world, it seems the general consensus is they do not deserve $15. I can agree $15 may be a bit much for the high school kid who shakes the fry basket, but minimum wage is not going to cut it.

Fast food chains are a billion dollar industry and there is no reason why their employees are not paid a fair and competitive wage. Do you know why these chains don’t pay the employees a decent wage? Let me tell you, because they don’t have to!! Plain and simple!!

For those of you who say McDonalds is a job for high school kids, news flash, high school kids can’t run an establishment. Would you eat at a restaurant that was run by teenagers? To all my working professionals, when you drive up for your sausage and egg McMuffin before you head to your office job do you think it’s a kid at the speaker? Hell no, they are in class!!

Then some say, “go get a $15 a hour job.” Don’t you think they would if they could?! Who the hell wants to work at a minimum wage job if they don’t have to!?

So you say management gets more… Yeah ok, more than minimum wage!! I didn’t take the time to look up the salary of a manager nor do I intend to because quite frankly that isn’t the issue. The issue is that thousands of employees, adults, who are making an honest living serving the public can’t afford to support themselves. Think people… they could say F*** this job and just come rob you and get money that way!!! Most times you make it; one time you wont!

People can’t complain about the girl behind the counter with the bad attitude, she isn’t paid enough to care. You get what you pay for!!! If franchise owners and the C Suite want their employees to give high quality service to the consumers that are making them rich, pay them to!

To those who say, they don’t have a college education.” Everyone can’t have a college education and not just due to disparity… if everyone had a college degree a degree wouldn’t mean anything. Shoot, other than the people that I went to college with, many people that I know and work with never stepped foot in a college… and those that did go to college surely didn’t finish. I say that to say, college is great, but clearly it isn’t everything. When I started with the bank, I was telling my new manager that I was working on my Masters and she revealed that she only had a high school diploma.

Education aside, working in fast food can be a trap. Someone may start to work in fast food with the attempt to find something better, maybe customer service, choices are limited, and life gets in the way. Here is where the cycle begins, they have children who also end up being uneducated and unskilled. Why? Well, poor people live in poor neighborhoods, who get a poor education, and who wind up in… you guessed it low wage paying jobs. These people are at poverty level and will likely stay for generations.

Maybe they should’ve made better choices? My uneducated manager is doing fine… sometimes it takes getting a hand. Without education you have few paths, fast food, retail, grocery stores, call centers… the first three are minimum wage.  Oh you can also go the illegal path and be ballin’ til you end up in prison. Prison sucks, but you have shelter, cable, three meals a day…

I’m not naïve, I know that if wages are increased prices get increased. I would be willing to pay more for LOW quality food that will likely kill me!! I also realize that an increase in their wages will also mean that everyone else’s wages are going to need to increase. You can’t have CNA’s making less that fast food employees.  The cost of living will likely increase and then the fast food employees will be right back where they started.

I’m not sure of the solution, but I tell you this. I can’t eat at establishments where my food is handled by disgruntled employees. I’m sure we’ve all seen the gross YouTube videos of what goes on!

I could rant on forever, just had to get that out. My humble opinion.


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