Stop ASKING Insensitive Questions
I completed my seven days!! It was quite an experience and it allowed me to think and gain some sense of clarity of what I want and where I am going. I made significant progress on my book. I didn’t meet my initial goal, but I will definitely be done by the end of this year. The seven days made me realize how my time I waste doing nothing. NOT COOL!
On to what I want to talk about… People asking questions about your life that is really none of their business.
After my seven days, I went back on Facebook. Everyone goes back to Facebook, it’s like a drug. I actually had no intent to not go back… Anyway…. On my first day back I saw a clip of Tyra Banks on FABLifeShow where she was in tears talking about her struggle to get pregnant. She discussed how she has been trying to get pregnant for years and it’s frustrating, annoying, and hurtful that everyone feels the need to ask, “When are you having a baby?” It may seem to be a simple question, but it’s insensitive and I fully understand.
Granted, I am NOT trying to get pregnant, but I can relate. It is just as annoying when people ask me when I’m going to get married. Why ask me? Why do you care? How does my marital status have anything to do with you? If you are important to me, when I get engaged I will be sure to let you know. Your asking me isn’t going to make me get engaged any sooner. Don’t ask me when I’m having children. I’ll have them or not have them when the time is right. Getting engaged and having children is something that I have no direct control over. I cannot marry or impregnate myself. So basically what I am saying is, stop asking!
I’ve had people ask me, what I am waiting for. Answer, I’m waiting to avoid being a single parent. I’m waiting to be a family unit. I am waiting to have a man in my life that I would like to share my life with. I don’t think that is a problem. Do you? I’ve had people ask me if I am capable to have children. That is the most insensitive question of all! As far as I know, I am, but if I weren’t, thank you for throwing it in my face. So again, what I am saying is, STOP ASKING!
Yes, I realize I’m getting older. I know my age; I’m not stupid. Yes, I realize the older I get the harder it will be to conceive. I’m not stupid. Yes, I know the older I get the riskier the pregnancy. I’m not stupid. This information does not change the fact I am not prepared to have a child, especially considering I am not in a committed relationship. Woman are having babies later in life, I am healthy, and have faith that I will one day have a child. I would love to have a child one day, but having a child does not define and does not make me any more of a woman. I actually read an article that suggested people without children have happier lives, something to consider.
So if you have a single woman in your life. Don’t annoy her with questions you already know the answer to. No she isn’t engaged, if she were you’d know. No she isn’t pregnant, if she were you’d know. Yes, she is aware of her fertility and does not need a medical lesson from you. So please, stop asking!