MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Attention: How Does a Man Deal with Conlict?

Men have the most interesting way of dealing with conflicts in relationships. They DON’T!!! They IGNORE IT!!!

Men are very peculiar. Why do men think that if they don’t talk about a problem, it will go away? I’ve always realized this, but I guess I figured with age it would diminish. I should’ve known better; I was delusional. Sorry dad, but you do it too. I even noticed that my grandpa did it. One day, many years ago, my grandma was pestering my grandpa and was on a rant about something. My grandpa literally acted like he didn’t hear that she was speaking to him, he didn’t flinch to point it made me wonder if he could hear at all. I was ready to bring up hearing aids, lol. After my grandma was done yelling, he gave me a secret smile and waved his hand and her. She was gone and he was back in peace to finish watching Matlock, lmao. I guess if he engaged in the conversation, it would’ve went on and on and he would’ve missed his show. There was no DVR then.

Well, fellas let me tell you something… It’s annoying!!! Women HATE to be ignored. LISTEN. ENGAGE. Let’s talk this out. Once we TALK about it, we can move forward and have some take aways. If you ignore it, it will just come up again AND then we have to talk about it again! It truly is a vicious cycle that can be broken if you STOP the silence. It can’t just be me who feels this way? Talking is GOOD!!

I swear I wonder how men have survived this long. Just floating through life avoiding deep discussions. How does that work? There must be a part of a man’s brain that differs from a woman’s brain that makes men incapable of communicating with a woman about feelings and relationships. It’s funny they lack the focus to discuss issues, but when it comes down to sports they know the players, the numbers, the stats. They can damn near write a biography and make an impromptu presentation about their favorite player that will range from the players childhood to present endorsements. Why is it that when their significant other wants to discuss an issue or two that their vocabulary is suddenly limited? Limited to a moan and maybe the words, “here we go.” WTF.

So the other night before bed I was having a discussion with my boyfriend, not an argument, but a discussion over text. All of a sudden he was MIA and no longer responding. When we spoke the next day on the phone, I asked why he stopped responding. His response, “I didn’t want to deal with it.” SMH. Just that easy huh? I felt like we could’ve wrapped up our discussion, but instead I had to get annoyed because I was being ignored. I guess women are the only ones who need closure.

This not dealing with things makes me think of a guy that I met at a party last year. One day after our plans got messed and I was upset, rightfully so, I never heard from him again. We were talking about it and then it just stopped. He didn’t want to deal with it. He probably thought I was angrier than I was. He, quite frankly, couldn’t have liked me that much because his actions were inconsiderate. My point here, if he had finished our discussion and moved forward I wouldn’t think he was an inconsiderate asshole, but instead a man that I met and it didn’t work out.

Men, I get that you don’t want to miss Matlock or whatever your show is. I get it. Life moves on, in your mind, faster if you just ignore the situation. IT DOESN’T! While you have moved on and completed your show, we’re angry. Do you really want your woman angry?

Well, I didn’t bring it up again. So I guess he won this one. Or did he? Yeah he may have stopped engaging, but he still had to listen. Hopefully something was absorbed to avoid the situation from coming up again.

Welp that’s my rant. Men, knock it off.

 

NAO

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4 thoughts on “Attention: How Does a Man Deal with Conlict?

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  2. Bernard on said:

    The real question is why the hell do women have so many damn issues ??

    Like

  3. Paris J Thomas on said:

    Wow! I hear you and just a different perspective from a man. Consider this; men are simple creatures. We heard you the first time and dealing with a issue at that time is not the right thing to do because most of us do not like arguing with our wives or girlfriends. Yes, we do avoid a big conflict but you have to remember that God made us different. In the ways we see issues, values, conflicts, situations, or circumstances. We do love you all and wisdom drives most men not emotions. When I was married I was told that I was not a strong black man because I preferred talking later when we both come down opposed to the heat of the moment. Also, leaving the house, walking away, listening without responding, all of these tactics are looked at as weaknesses oppose to strengths. Some men have a short fuse and after you made your point move on and accept the fact that a man is not going to talk to you with emotions. Well, most of us do not. Learn to know that we are different and a man should not be complaining like a woman or being emotional. We have to accept that when some women have an issue nor matter how big or small to a woman it is of the highest importance. We hear you. Last, God made us this way. If you are a Christian please read the first book in the Holy Bible. Interesting read. Have a great day.

    Sent from my iPhone

    Like

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