Five Phases of a Relationship
Hi, long time no write 🙂
I have been in a relationship for about four months now after a three year hiatus. I’ve been going on dates for so long that it’s weird to be in a relationship; it’s not quite the same vibe. When you’re being wooed (Do people still use that word?) you get a lot of attention, get taken out every weekend, and they say all the right things. It’s great!! It took me a minute to remember that doesn’t last forever. I guess I’m a bit of a brat, but whatever, that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. After two dates or so, I generally never saw the person. It made me forget about the various phases that people go through when in a relationship. Once someone got on my nerves, my friends would hear, “uuughhh girl I dunnoooo” and sure enough it was over. So now that I am in a relationship and like the man that I am seeing, I need to reinforce my nerves lmao. It’s not all about me, it’s mostly about me, but not ALL about me hehehe just kidding, sorta 😉
1. In the first phase you meet a man’s representative. He’s on his best behavior and says all of the right things to make you giggle like a teenager. You go out all the time to the point you feel like a tourist in your own town because you’re doing so many different things. Yes, he is probably breaking his bank account, but it’s an investment. Right? Right. I think so. Everything is great and you see everything through rose colored glasses. You have officially met the greatest man in the WORLD!! Ladies eat your heart out, he’s taken! You can see myself falling in love with this one. Until, you move into the next phase. I’d say phase one lasts about 3 months, give or take dependent upon how much time you two spend together. When you start to spend more time indoors than outdoors then you know you moved into the next phase of your relationship.
2. In the second phase of the relationship, the representative starts to disappear. You both start to lower your guards and reveal your insecurities and issues that probably would’ve scared the other off if revealed in the first month. You go out less, but still hang out often. The sweet words may be less frequent and he may be brutally honest and tell you that your hair looks a mess, but know that it’s with love. All of the jokes that you thought were sooo hilarious, you now and probably really never did, get. But he is still awesome and you are happy to be together because he brings a smile to your face, hopefully. This phase can last anywhere from the 3rd month of your relationship to your one year anniversary.
3. It starts to get real in this phase. No more holding in the farts or not taking a poop at his place, hey they are both natural body functions. No more waking up early to hide the morning breath. He is now seeing that, unlike Beyoncé, you do not wake up like “this.” It takes work and effort and since we aren’t going anywhere, I’m not putting in the effort to get all fine. You are both comfortable and may be settling into a rut, although I hope not. This phase doesn’t really end, it kind of transitions into the next and is ongoing.
4. In phase four, you might start to get the itch. Do you really like this man? Can you really see yourself with this person for the long haul? Yes, you’ve invested some time, but probably not so much time that you can’t move on to someone else. The jokes are no longer funny, his snoring keeps you up at night, and his farts make you wonder if he has a gastrointestinal problem. If you’re not in love already, you may have to decide to call it quits. On the flip, you may fall in more in love with your man which leads in the next phase.
5. The last phase is when women, especially those who want to get married and have kids, ask “Where is this going?” You’ve gotten this far; you must be in love. You might still like his jokes or just laugh to make him feel good about himself. You probably realize that you’re not getting any younger and don’t have time to waste. You’re ovaries are starting to hurt and your clock is ticking so loud it vibrates in your ears. So you want to know, what’s the next step? Exchange keys? Move in together? Get engaged? A relationship needs to progress and move forward.
Sometimes two, three, and four can occur simultaneously.
I am currently in phase 2. My boyfriend and I are learning each other and it is interesting. I feel like I am experiencing some growing pains, but no rule breakers… thank goodness. I have learned that it is important for me to remember that he and I are a new couple and I can’t expect him to know everything about me or be able to read my mind. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t quite understand him, but that’s ok because if we work in time I will. I’m also learning that when in a relationship a man will sometimes do things that I don’t like and that will annoy me, but I also have to remember when he does sweet things too. I will remember when he sent me a bouquet for Valentine’s Day and when he sized my new air filter because the manufacturer of mine made the air filter in a size that you can’t buy from anyone other than them. Those are the moments when I feel, aawwweee he really likes me.