MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Archive for the month “January, 2014”

Intro Phrases that Scare Men

I always knew that men didn’t really like to talk, but I didn’t realize that certain phrases cripple them. I mean really leave them stressed and thinking the world is going to come to an end. Come on guys, man up. Talking doesn’t always mean there’s something wrong, it just means we want to talk. Communication is key. Here are a few phrases that apparently one should never use when initiating a conversation with the boyfriend.

The ever so popular, we need to talk – I have been given several lectures on this. DO NOT say these words! My boyfriend told that if I said those words to him that he’d probably avoid me for a few days. I laughed until I couldn’t laugh anymore. I guess it’s like waiting for the impending doom! I consulted FB, the source of all knowledge, and yep I should never say those words. I have been schooled on the problem. The problem is, why do you NEED to talk? Why not just talk? Uhm I don’t know, maybe I can’t talk right NOW and I’m letting you know that later we’re going to talk. Maybe it’s all in the approach.

I’ve been thinking – Apparently another hated phrase. Now men don’t want women to think? Do men think that if women have enough time to think that we will realize that they are not the greatest thing since the smart phone? Do men think that women will start to consider, hhmm I can do better? Why do men always think the worse? Maybe what comes after, I’ve been thinking, is that we should take a romantic cruise. Have they ever considered that?

So listen – My friend said that he hates to hear these words. His thoughts are… Why do you have to say, listen? I am listening. Are you? Maybe she is telling you to listen because you usually don’t. Maybe you are usually distracted and that is why she needs to emphasize, listen. Maybe she wants to make sure you’re focused. Sounds to me like she is really trying to help you out! Lol

Let’s talk – similar to we need to talk minus the need. The last time that I said let’s talk. My boyfriend said, we are talking. Yes, we were in fact talking, but I didn’t want to talk about talking. I wanted to talk about stuff. Nothing in particular, just stuff. What have I learned? No introductory phrases; I need to just start talking. Oh and don’t start a conversation of with so. Soooo…. That’s just as bad, especially if you let your eyes wander off into the distance lmao.

These might go both ways and not be gender specific, but somehow I doubt it. You know, I just had a thought. Maybe men hate, we need to talk, because they know they’ve been lacking or slacking and now it’s finally going to be brought to their attention. I bet that is what the underlying issue is. I’m a genius, I know. 🙂



Romanticized Ideas of Man

I was watching this show on TV that basically suggested, women have these romanticized ideas of what they want in a man that include standards that no man can live up to. Is that true?

I think about myself and I pretty much know what I want and have come to accept that no man is going to be “perfect” and have ALL the characteristics that I want: A 6’2, chocolate man, with a dazzling smile, who completely adores me hehehe. I’ve been conditioned…. That’s not really what my list consists of, but you get the point. The top three things on a lot of women’s list are tall, dark, and handsome. Why do we do that?

Men probably have big butt and a smile that comes on a woman who can cook.

Does this set relationships up for failure?

Ladies want someone who can sing… someone who sends flowers… someone who she can talk to all night until she falls asleep… someone who is successful… someone who is so romantic all of her friends secretly hate her…

Why not want someone who likes you and all your weirdness? You could end up with someone who disrespects you, cheats on you, abuses, and puts you last.

Sometimes I look at couples, especially weird looking ones, and wonder what they see in each other. Did they settle? Was this a compromise? Did they not want to be alone? Were they tired of meeting the wrong people? So instead of tall, dark, and handsome… he’s short, pasty, and 15 years your senior… Does there come an age when you have to say, ok, let’s get it together?

As much as people say that they want happiness, they really don’t. People say things that they want, but then when they get it, it’s like ehhhh. I know, I’ve done it. I met someone who used to bring me roses and I didn’t really care, BUT I didn’t like him for many other reasons. I say this to say, he got no points for the roses. I love roses. I have them tattooed on my back for goodness sakes.

Niecy Nash said, “Date for you priorities, not your preferences.”

“Those who hold out for everything, end up with nothing.” I heard this on a TV show.

I’m finally seeing someone, after three years of being single, and I’m in the rose colored glasses stage. I can admit, I’m scared about when they come off. Will my romanticized ideas change things? Once, one of my friends asked me why I hadn’t asked him something, I don’t even remember what she asked specifically, but my response was that I don’t want things to change. Some things you really don’t need to know!! I didn’t want to know the answer to whatever the question was because if I didn’t like the answer from the man that I’m seeing, things would change. The answer could potentially knock the glasses from my face and into the street in the midst of rush hour traffic on a busy highway. Maybe, I’m not scared about the glasses per se. Maybe, I’m scared that I finally met someone that I like and that  he may not live up to my romanticized ideas. On the other hand, what if he does and I’m scared for nothing…I digress

Maybe that’s why some women have so called unreasonable standards. If no man can meet them, we can’t be disappointed. It’s a mechanism. I don’t know, whatever. Anyway, all of this from a TV show and my boring weekend that allowed me to think too much. This is what happens when I have too much time alone with my thoughts. Right now, I am happy with my average height, light skin, and handsome man :-). That is all that matters.

Ladies and gentlemen, let’s not be crazy! I’m trying not to lol. In 2014, I will not over analyze, I will go with the flow, and be happy in the moment.

Happy New Year!!



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