Judgemental vs Standards
What is the point where one is being judgmental versus not settling for what they don’t want?
I’ve recently went out on a date with a couple more men that I just wasn’t feeling. Trust me when I say, I am trying so hard to be more open… The first man that I went out with seemed sex crazed. Our first conversation, he asked me how long had it been since I had sex. The next conversation, he wanted to know what I slept in. Once, when we went out for drinks, he asked me how often I like to have sex. 😐 This is disturbing!!! Of all the many things you can get to know about me, that’s all you want to know? Maybe ask my favorite color!!! Find out what I went to school for? What do I do for a living? To top it all off, he invited me to lunch, prior to the drinks, and was confused as to why I didn’t eat prior to arriving. WTF!!! Then had the nerve to ask when he could come to my place. Eerr uuuhhh NEVER!!
The second man that I met… and here I was really trying to be open and he was a nice guy. I knew he was divorced with two kids when I met him, ok let’s get that out there because it’s important to know. I find out, soon after meeting him, that he actually has 3 kids, is unemployed, and lives at home with his parents. People, I got so quite he thought that I hung up on him. I would never do that btw, it’s just plain rude, but I had to let him go. I felt so bad, he told me that I gave him butterflies. Welp, I like butterflies too!!! Why should I feel dread in the pit of my stomach?!?
So two people made me feel bad about cutting the guy living with his parents off. People come into hard times I was told. One of his children was from a marriage. He may be trying to get back on his feet and that’s why he lives at home with his parents. That’s all well and good. I know people go through hard times, BUT WHY DO HIS HARD TIMES HAVE TO BE MY HARD TIMES?!?!? Maybe, just maybe, he should get his shit together and then think about a girlfriend! IJS, those are my thoughts. Why should I deal with all that he has going on to avoid hurting his feelings?!?!? It hurts my feelings to know that you will expect to always be at my place because you don’t have your own place uuugghhh. It hurts my feelings to know that you want to take a walk on the beach because it’s FREE and not because it’s romantic. NOOOOO!!!!
I met a third man, who talks so slowly and sounds so country it’s frustrating. I swear he is somebody’s grandpa!! I know this is judgmental, but again why do I have to be put to sleep lmao!
Once I met a man who had three kids all the SAME AGE!!! They were not triplets and there were NO twins. I was like oh no no no, must’ve been how you was raised huh?! Lol, I got that from Chris Rock. But really, that’s too much!!!
I have a friend who is also facing a dilemma. She’s been seeing this guy for a couple of months, but not exclusive. She likes him and enjoys spending time with him, but he has Sickle Cell and is in and out of the hospital. Although she likes him, she’s not sure if this is something that she can deal with emotionally. Not only will this take an emotional toll, we must think about the big picture. Whether she has the trait which will likely pass it to their children and the expense of his condition. I honestly do not know what I would do in this position. Is it wrong to move on? Why should she bear this burden? On the other hand, she could be missing out on love. Is she being selfish? I don’t know.
Is it entirely wrong to be judgmental when it comes to matters of the heart and choosing a potential love interest? I’m not sure it is. Is it being judgmental or having standards?