MyPuzzlePeace: Piecing It Together

From the Inside In

Archive for the month “June, 2013”

Dating Deal Breakers?!? Yes or No

Hi everyone!!

I celOldebrated my birthday this weekend and had blast! I have a great family and group of friends. I couldn’t ask for a better circle! I feel like a kid on my birthday and look forward to it each year. People complain about getting older, but don’t consider the alternative… DEATH! I am thankful to be blessed with another year of life, health, and joy!

So, I was on FB and I saw a post that caught my attention. It said 10 Dating Deal Breakers You Must Get Over! I took a look at them and I don’t know if I could get over some of them…

1. Discolored teeth – Welp… I’m not sure how I feel about this one!! There is a difference between not the whitest smile (noooo problem with that) to brown teeth… That screams poor hygiene to me!!!! I can’t have your poor oral hygiene making my great oral hygiene be in vain, GERMS move from mouth to mouth… Google it!!!

2. He’s shorter than 6 feet – This I can get over, provided he’s taller than 5’7” preferably at least 5’9”

3. He has bad acne – This one is dependent on a couple of factors. At 16 bad acne is no problem, but at 30 bad acne is kind of weird. I mean a pimple here and there is not what I consider bad acne so maybe “bad” is relative. Then it makes me wonder why an adult has such bad acne, visit the dermatologist!! But NO not a deal breaker, well unless it’s just gross.

4. Bad breath – Yeah nope can’t agree with this!!! Is it bad because we just shared a Chili Cheese Dog or is it bad because you don’t floss regularly and take care of your teeth?!?! If it’s the latter, it’s a deal breaker. I can’t teach a grown man oral hygiene!!! You should’ve learned that at 2 with mommy and daddy!

5. A severe underbite – Not that appealing, but no not a deal breaker. If he’s ok with it, I can be ok with it.

6. He has long dirty fingernails – Nope, nope, and nope… DEAL BREAKER!!! If you are not a mechanic, I need you to clean your nails. You can get some sort of infection! Yuck! Then if I ever get scratched!! Men, this is very unappealing… take care of your nails. It says a lot about you!!

7. He calls mommy daily – I can deal with this. A man who loves his mother, will know how to love me!! As long as I get a call daily too, it’s all good!

8. He makes less than six figures – I’m ok with this as long as he is not in financial stress. If you are working with your five figures and are living a comfortable life, our figures combined (if we get there) can be six figures.

9. He can’t dress – Y’all know how I feel about this. Not sure if I can get on board; I guess it depends.

10. He has dreads or twist – I love a man in dreads!!! Well… unless he’s a man in dreads with a bald spot or a severe receding hairline, then you just look funny!

So of these ten things, several of them are still deal breakers. Check out the article to see Paul Carrick Brunson’s argument as to why they should not be. He may have some good points, but I can’t get on board lol.


Judgemental vs Standards

Grow Old

What is the point where one is being judgmental versus not settling for what they don’t want?

I’ve recently went out on a date with a couple more men that I just wasn’t feeling. Trust me when I say, I am trying so hard to be more open… The first man that I went out with seemed sex crazed. Our first conversation, he asked me how long had it been since I had sex. The next conversation, he wanted to know what I slept in. Once, when we went out for drinks, he asked me how often I like to have sex. 😐 This is disturbing!!! Of all the many things you can get to know about me, that’s all you want to know? Maybe ask my favorite color!!! Find out what I went to school for? What do I do for a living? To top it all off, he invited me to lunch, prior to the drinks, and was confused as to why I didn’t eat prior to arriving. WTF!!! Then had the nerve to ask when he could come to my place. Eerr uuuhhh NEVER!!

The second man that I met… and here I was really trying to be open and he was a nice guy. I knew he was divorced with two kids when I met him, ok let’s get that out there because it’s important to know. I find out, soon after meeting him, that he actually has 3 kids, is unemployed, and lives at home with his parents. People, I got so quite he thought that I hung up on him. I would never do that btw, it’s just plain rude, but I had to let him go. I felt so bad, he told me that I gave him butterflies. Welp, I like butterflies too!!! Why should I feel dread in the pit of my stomach?!?

So two people made me feel bad about cutting the guy living with his parents off. People come into hard times I was told. One of his children was from a marriage. He may be trying to get back on his feet and that’s why he lives at home with his parents. That’s all well and good. I know people go through hard times, BUT WHY DO HIS HARD TIMES HAVE TO BE MY HARD TIMES?!?!? Maybe, just maybe, he should get his shit together and then think about a girlfriend! IJS, those are my thoughts. Why should I deal with all that he has going on to avoid hurting his feelings?!?!? It hurts my feelings to know that you will expect to always be at my place because you don’t have your own place uuugghhh. It hurts my feelings to know that you want to take a walk on the beach because it’s FREE and not because it’s romantic. NOOOOO!!!!

I met a third man, who talks so slowly and sounds so country it’s frustrating. I swear he is somebody’s grandpa!! I know this is judgmental, but again why do I have to be put to sleep lmao!

Once I met a man who had three kids all the SAME AGE!!! They were not triplets and there were NO twins. I was like oh no no no, must’ve been how you was raised huh?! Lol, I got that from Chris Rock. But really, that’s too much!!!

I have a friend who is also facing a dilemma. She’s been seeing this guy for a couple of months, but not exclusive. She likes him and enjoys spending time with him, but he has Sickle Cell and is in and out of the hospital. Although she likes him, she’s not sure if this is something that she can deal with emotionally. Not only will this take an emotional toll, we must think about the big picture. Whether she has the trait which will likely pass it to their children and the expense of his condition. I honestly do not know what I would do in this position. Is it wrong to move on? Why should she bear this burden? On the other hand, she could be missing out on love. Is she being selfish? I don’t know.

Is it entirely wrong to be judgmental when it comes to matters of the heart and choosing a potential love interest? I’m not sure it is. Is it being judgmental or having standards?


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