No More Dating Games!
Hi everyone! I hope all is well. I think I lost 10lbs, but I could’ve possibly gained 10lbs, or maybe my weight didn’t move at all and my scale is just broken!! Who knows! My scale reads something different every time I get on and I just take the best number as accurate lol!
So the other day I was talking to my male friend Dew Dew, gotta love the nick names lol… Wait let me rewind and come back to this.
So as those you who have been following my blog know, this year I have been actively dating after a two year hiatus and the end of a four year relationship. It’s been fun and aggravating all at the same time. Since I haven’t dated in years, I’ve been reading several books, blogs, and articles on dating to get filled in on the new new.
Rewind a bit more…
I went to a singles retreat last year hosted by a church. The pastor mentioned that he did not like Steve Harvey’s book. He felt like the book was teaching people how to play a game and relationships should not be viewed as a game… I don’t remember what else he said and I didn’t necessarily agree with what he said… He lost me somewhere along the way when he shared the 10 rules of dating. I’ll tell you briefly. 1. No sex 2. No Sex 3. No Sex 4. No Sex 5. No Sex 6. No Sex 7. No Sex 8. No sex 9. No Sex 10. No Sex. So there you go!!! Now, I’m not suggesting that you should have sex, but…
I have been reading “Unmask the Male Mind” by Alexandra Fox. This is a book that I’ve mentioned before, she suggests women to implement the rotation system when dating. The book has a section about what men are supposed to do and what women are supposed to do. Fox says, until a relationship has been established that women should never call men. She said when she was dating, to avoid calling a man she would actually delete his number from her phone and call log as well as delete any text. She figured if he was interested in talking to her that he would call.
This brings us to present. I asked my friend Dew Dew if it’s ok to call a man you’re interested in. His response, “if you want to talk to him just call.” He thinks you shouldn’t be obsessive and stalkerish, but if you want to talk, just call.
Then it hit me!! This is what the pastor was talking about. Why do we play all these silly little games? What is wrong with calling? The phone works both ways! If I’m thinking about a man that I’m interested in during the day, what’s the issue with sending a message just to say, “I hope you are having a good day”? Any man that runs because he crossed my mind, is not worth my time!!
And another thing!! I don’t want to put men on rotation!! I want to date one man at the time and if that doesn’t work out, move on to the next one. I’m pretty charming. As of March 8, Check In has viewed my profile 26 times!!! I’ve never even met him. So can you imagine if I graced him with my presence?!?!? I’d never be able to shake him!! Lol, I’m being silly, but it’s just not me. I get attached, he gets attached and now I have to break someone’s heart. No Bueno!!
So thank you Dew Dew for helping me reach this epiphany. From now on, I’m going to do what I want and what I think feels right for ME. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, better luck next time!